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K a t e  L u m p k i n katelumpkin katelumpkin Posts

There is a kind of freedom and a kind of death that comes in your early 30s. A realization that a tectonic shift, that you never asked for, has taken place without you realizing. A shift that causes canyons so wide that bridges can’t be built — and some of the people in your life are lost forever, stranded on the other side. People who have done nothing and don’t even realize that they have no ability to cross to you. It’s a quiet loss with deep hurts. And also great freedoms. It’s a pain that people don’t talk about. The realization that quiet nights and fewer, but more intimate friendships, become thrilling. The idea that solace is charming and warm homes inviting. The hurt comes from the longing though. The longing for a past that doesn’t need to exist anymore. And the knowledge that you CAN choose the activities and ideas of that past any day of the week — the noise, the parties, the angst — and yet you make different choices. The tectonic shift has changed your desire for choices. And without even realizing it’s happened, there has been a quiet death of time, place, and a piece of you. And in that death — a birth of self that is equally as thrilling if not a bit more simple and specific. And in that specificity, freedom.

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Before the New Year: -Have the a difficult conversation that you have been putting off. Just do it. Ask why? Apologize. Ask for an apology. Figure it out. Don't drag the drama it into the new decade. -Have an artistic opinion that is your own and stick to it. Opinions cannot be correct or incorrect -- they are subjective. Give yourself permission to have an opinion that someone doesn't like -- but honor that it is yours and value that. Listen with open ears+hearts, but also enjoy the yumminess of artistic difference. -Take the time to thank the people who got you to 2020. Really thank them. Write it down and hit send. Show up face to face and hold them and thank them. Even if you are no longer connected --- write anyways. -Write down the accomplishments that you are most proud of from this past decade. LOOK AT THEM. Celebrate them. Honor that you did all of those things. Don't let thinking ahead keep you from celebrating the things that will take you there. -Make sure you are registered to vote.

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The dream that you wish...will come true. {But only if you have a goal, work really hard, verbalize what you want, and make a plan of action. 2020 you know what I want!}

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When we can no longer live within our own self-constructed walls — we create. We imagine. We dream. And now, we create.

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katelumpkin. The holiday season makes me feel extra creative, warm, and connected.

The holiday season makes me feel extra creative, warm, and connected. What is your favourite holiday tradition!?!? {Clearly, I love a good bake and decorate session! Anyone need cookie inspo? I got you!}

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Grow up. Dig deep. Do the work. Make a great team. Keep your hands to yourself. Fail forward.

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But most of all, as snowflakes fall — I wish you love.

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This weekend, remember: - You are worthy. No matter what. - Derogatory remarks are a reflection of much needed internal work. - Practicing gratitude has proven health benefits. - When people show you who they are, believe them. - Eat the treats. Eat all the treats. You get one life!

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// What’s something you wish you had done or wish you had known earlier? // I am not someone who claims to have no regrets. I have plenty of regrets --- and I have learned to let them fuel me. I wish I had done and been a great many things. I mostly wish I had not let people pleasing take me off course. Something I wish I had known earlier is that your passion should serve and not punish you. You are allowed to change your mind a thousand times. You are allowed to try something new AND turn right back around. I wish someone had told me that when there is a pit in your stomach you will never forget or outgrow it --- pits are seeds and seeds grow.

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I was just interviewed for a publication and the journalist asked, “In looking at your track record, you have really surrounded yourself with capital P Powerful women. Most of the directors, GMs, and producers you work with are women. Most of the shows you have worked on are about women or underrepresented people. Can you talk about how that has affected your work?” And all I could say was, “Sir, that IS my work. That is capital T The Work.” Get at us 2020.

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There are so many people managing the ‘behind the scenes’ of your life every single day that you don’t even notice or think about. When was the last time you acknowledged or thanked them? Maybe check the ratio of blame to thanks in your life today?

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They say, 'Have courage,' and I'm trying to.

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Take it at your own pace. Take it all at your own pace. YOUR TIMELINE IS YOUR OWN. {Be creative today in a way that tests your timeline and forces you to slow down. It will change you.}

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Support people in any way you can. Here is a list of a few things you can do anytime to help: - Send a quick Venmo - Give a really warm hug - Show up for their work - Send an amazon gift card - Write a thank you note - Text words of affirmation - Bring a gift when it is not expected - Share their status or follow them {social currency is real} - Pick up the phone and actually call - Send an Uber on someone’s big day

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katelumpkin. You know who tells me no?
Nobody.

You know who tells me no? Nobody.

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I always wondered what "growing up" truly meant. I knew that one day it would hit me -- hard. And this year, on my birthday it did. As I looked around a table I have sat at for many years, I realized --- We don't grow up. We grow out and we grow in. It's not an ascent like we are taught. We grow out of friends. We grow into loves. We grow out of excuses. We grow into grit. 💛💛💛 “Growing up" demands that we leave something behind unwillingly. Like it is taken away forcefully with the years that pass. But really, we choose to grow out of the things that don’t serve us or bring us joy in the way that they used to. We choose to grow into acceptance of our real passions and our real family. We grow out of needing to belong to everyone and we grow in towards those who nourish us most. We learn to choose when we realize that the ascension of the preached “growing up” is exhausting and boring and makes us exhausted and bored. 💛💛💛 I’m happy not being cool in everyone’s eyes. I’m happy not always being asked to go out. I’m happy staying in, or celebrating a new home, or sharing a cheese plate --- not because that is what “old people” say. I’m happy doing those things, because I’m exhausted by the idea of proving that I’m a “grown up.” I’ve grown out of that and into me.

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Public reminder to myself: Listen to your own advice, let go of people who are not your people, and love a little extra hard on those that are. This has been a public reminder to myself. {like all of my writing let’s be honest}

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I walked into this store and felt at home. Like I had walked on to the set of Practical Magic. You see, when I think about someone a lot, they call me. If I want to make something happen, it happens. I can “conjure” things into being with my will and I always know when my friends are hurting in my gut. The women in my family say we are witches — connected by a strong bond of mystical power that allows us to create and connect via sheer focus of will, education, and intuition. Powerful women, who connect with other powerful women, to make change and send love where it needs to go. If that makes me a redheaded Hermione Granger, I’m not mad about it. However, there is great responsibility and great doubt when you feel powerful on the inside. People don’t always want to let you share it, or believe in it or you. But I’m here to tell you, when you tap into your power, and let it fly, your world and your work and your heart and your life will make sense and make greatness. You are greatness.

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Start your day the way you want to finish it. AKA with cheese and butter and happiness.

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“Wish on everything. Pink cars are good, especially old ones. And stars of course, first stars and shooting stars. Planes will do if they are the first light in the sky and look like stars. Wish in tunnels, holding your breath and lifting your feet off the ground. Birthday candles. Baby teeth.” {wish on it all}

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Get out of town. Run as quickly as you can towards something new. See different colors. Miss those back home. Learn the value of them and see the value in brand new others. Get out of town.

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Someone just stopped me on the street and said, “You look like the British twin from The Parent Trap if she were all grown up.” Well, I’ve never felt more seen.

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Recently, I was called ‘sweetheart.’ Not in an endearing way by my husband or a loving friend — but during work hours in a way made to make me feel small and like my ideas were less than. That had never happened to me before — at least not to my face. To say I was a bit shocked, is an understatement. This is the stuff of Mad Men and Working Girl. The stuff of period pieces and costume dramas. This doesn’t happen to me, in a room I am paid to run. ••• My tone shifted, and I said while making direct eye contact, “I’m sitting at the same table as you.” Not with malice — but with intention. The room got quiet. Suddenly, we were all reminded that kindness and gumption are not mutually exclusive. I had said all that I needed to say, and the meeting finished on an up note with decisions made and hands shook. And afterward, I was met with the kindest words, “I’m sorry. Your opinions matter. Thank you.” ••• This moment reminded me of an article that I read recently that implored women to stop trying to “be like men” in order to be assertive and rather encourage men to embrace, acknowledge, and desire what some perceive to seem weak: apology, listening, and reflection. I was floored when I read it. {I wish I hadn’t felt that way!} I have spent so much time convincing myself that I simply need to stop apologizing and that my voice needs to be louder than the others in the room. That’s how “lady bosses” get it done right? That’s what the internet tells me everyday. ••• But what if we met in the middle? What if I raise my voice when necessary and you apologize when needed and we all listen harder and dig deeper? What happens then? What happens is that we all sit at the table TOGETHER and FEAST. Most importantly what happens, is we talk so much that we don’t finish our creative “meal” and we have something to pass on to the people who follow us.

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You are allowed to bloom. And it does not have to be where you are planted. But friend, you are allowed to bloom.

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