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Acting. I’ve been an actress and a model always placed in roles that don’t quite fit who I am yet expected to play out with perfect precision. . From the beach girl, to the insane woman Beatrix for which I got the highest acting award given in the country and the youngest to have received it - I have had roles assigned and I’ve learned though assigned, I don’t have to accept. The more I acquire I accumulate. The more I accumulate the less I remember who I am. Cloaked in layers of roles, my shoulders became heavy in fulfilling expectations I never had the confidence to meet. . It was in 2004 my brother @checowan called me on the phone. As we were speaking he said “where did you go? Where is my sister?” I was confused. I’m right here? I reasoned. He shot back “ my sister isn’t quiet or reserved. She’s loud and bold. Go find her. Who told you that God wasn’t ok with how He made you?” I broke down crying. I acquired another role. Church girl. Perfect girl. Quiet girl. Subservient. Don’t rock the boat girl. All the while that Phoenix within rattles the cage. . Psalm 139:14 you are fearfully and wonderfully made God said. . I had a decision to make. Play another part in the play prescribed by people’s ideology or walk in the reality of the identity Christ gives me. I’ve just accepted my freedom makes others nervous. My candor frightens their taboos. My expression overwhelms their reservedness. The permission I’ve given myself to be flawed, imperfect, disheveled, spot on or spot off begs them to question their self imposed boxes. . You are unique. Your imprint is stellar. Your voice is strong. Your cadence is necessary. Your walk is noticed. The sway of your hips and the strength in your back tells a story. You have come out the fire and you are stronger. Don’t lower your light for others who refuse to shine themselves. Be the expression God is looking for. He never created clones he made composites of Himself expressed in different personalities. You’re not a wrong. You are a right in this world of boring stereotypes. . Stick with the word of God and the words of others won’t be able to define you. I don’t accept roles anymore. I play me. No acting required.
Too much. I’ve been told I was too something my whole life. You talk TOO MUCH. You laugh TOO loud. You’re TOO skinny. You’re TOO white. You play TOO much. You trust TOO easily. TOO. . In not wanting to be TOO of anything I began becoming LESS of everything. LESS joyful in case I smiled TOO much. Less brilliant in case I was accused of wanting TOO much attention. LESS certain in case I was TOO aggressive. I began requesting LESS so I wouldn’t be TOO demanding. LESS. . I learned some people liked me more when I pretended to be LESS. Yes. I said pretended. I’ve never believed truly within myself I was inferior. Insecure at times yes. Introspective yes. Inferior. No. I was more tolerable, palatable, humble as long as I was LESS. Less made others with their own rejection issues feel more valuable. Underachieving made it easier for others but miserable for me. So I decided. It’s a disservice to myself to shrink when I already stand out. So I stopped and listened. . TOO much. I like too much. TOO much health. TOO much peace. TOO much prosperity. TOO much joy. TOO much laughter. TOO much has a feel and a flair. Your TOO much will irritate those who like just enough and frustrate those who agree with less than enough. The abundant life God promises sounds a lot like the TOO much life. Imma take my TOO much self and exit out your too little mindset before I agree with your small idea of how I should be and forget I was never made to shrink back but stand up to giants. . God designed you Himself. Don’t give designer rights on your identity to a cheap dealer. They will always Undervalue your worth. . #wotd #pastorsara #love
Blended fams. Let’s hit that a sec. Baby mama drama and all that. Meet my youngest sister @naomicowan the last of 7 kids my dad has with 4 different moms. Yes. I said four. So you’d expect lots of drama and foolishness. I am going to share the principles I believe has helped us live this out as one family. This is us. This is real. This isn’t for the gram. We all get along this happy - moms and all. How?. . 1. My dad . He set the tone by making sure he never introduced us to each other as half sister or half brother. It was you have a brother. You have a sister. So we never were taught to separate ourselves from one another. . 2. My dad. Being the common denominator as the father of all of us put us getting along above anything else. So he didn’t tolerate pettiness or argument from any of the moms. He defended the right for us to be together. Listen. My mom was the most angry, difficult one of them all and yet he didn’t cater or cave to that. He made sure he was present in all our lives. . 3. My now step mom I’d say bonus mom but there were more than one. My stepmom @carlenedavismusic was calm and peaceful. She stayed consistent and steady. She integrated and didn’t separate us either. . 4. Us. We love each other and we all know our moms. At first being the children of divorced parents whoa there’s stuff that comes with that. My parents divorced when I was 6. It was horrible. But the toxicity and chaos we were living in was worse. But we eventually saw things as they really were for ourselves. We were always taught at the end of the day, no one will have us like each other. So we support, love , laugh, argue and rave but we are family. . My youngest sister @naomicowan and I are out here just doing what we do as sisters. Get along. Because that’s what is expected of us. @thetommycowan is the best dad ever. I’m glad he chose us first and still chooses us even as adults. It taught us to choose each other. If you have sisters or brothers love on them. #family #love #sisters #jamaicans #blendedfam #blacklove
25 years went by so fast ... what’s the key, secret sauce? Purpose. Marry for purpose and passion will come. Marry for passion and purpose may escape. God put us together. God keeps us together. We choose forever. Xo Aruba see you hopefully next week and the week after that. 😚🤣 #love #25 #aruba #relationshipgoals #blacklove #success
Lesson number something. Trust God and leap. Lately I’ve been getting these very specific prophetic words @wotfc . This prophetic word was given this past Sun 12.1 about a case shift that would happen on Wed today 12/4 and here is the testimony. the lesson: . don’t withhold the word of the Lord bc you await confirmation you speak it bc you have revelation. With the prophetic it’s a manifestation of the Spirit that often times is filtered through the gate of your mind. Some prophesies and visions etc are a result from too many things on your own mind and in your own heart. Ecc- 5:3 and the book of Revelation talks about jezebel proclaiming herself as a prophetess as she used prophesy and the influence of the prophetic for personal gain and control. But prophesy is to build, exhort and edify unless one is recognized in the office of the prophet (male or female). Then they judge, establish, root up and build etc. . Experience with God and managing your own emotions makes you trustworthy as an oracle of God. When living in between realms you have to trust God and leap. Let Him work things out. Let Him confirm His own word. Let Him move on the hearts of people. Let Him get the glory. . Trusting God means even if no 1 applauds you, still do the work. If no one recognizes you, you still stay the course. If no one validated your voice, you still use it to edify. If no one understood your heart, you still let it beat for His purpose and people. . I may have a word from God and ppl will go through the most to qualify or disqualify it. But I can’t let man who didn’t call me intimidate me from the One who did. . I don’t rely on ppls qualifying or quantifying measures to proclaim a qualitative word from God over my own life or the lives of those I am honored to steward. If you wait on others before you leap you may lose - someone’s blessing needs your voice of agreement. don’t delay your leap because others lag behind. Don’t delay your progress because others pick at your plans. Don’t stay stagnant because others find stuck a place of residence. No. The only box that can box you in is the one you climb into. Release your gift.
Lesson 3,4,5 idk - preserve your peace. You hear me? You are not obligated to engage with demons, people influenced by demons, drama addicts, contentious situations, chaotic adventures or people who are set on sowing seeds of discord, lowering your confidence or sucking life out of your calling. No. You have the option to opt out. In relationships. Guard your heart. Guard your peace. Pursue peace by keeping your mind stayed onGod not giving attention to pettiness and pickiness. I’ve learned. Peace is my portion. I don’t have to fight every battle. Pick up every argument. Respond to every instigation. Wallow. Worry. Self deface. No. If you’re not a piece of my peace then peace out. #roadto25 we made it bc peace was better than pieces. Xo
So this happened today unbeknownst to me YES UNBEKNOWNST. Wow. Just still overwhelmed. I remember always calling @pastorebenconner my mercy gift from God. By the time I had met him I truly had gone through too much and just really was asking God for mercy. You’ve ever just thought you had nothing left? No fight. No will. No extra. No push? I didn’t ask for a person. I asked for mercy. Don’t give me what I deserve. Give me what Jesus came to give me. As time went on the gift of mercy was wrapped in 6’4 worth of dark chocolate🥰 . . Mercy. The act of compassion to someone deserving judgment. I prayed for unconditional love bc that’s what has gotten me saved by God but it’s the same thing that saves my soul on the daily. God in his compassion sent me Eben. No one treats me better. No one loves me more. No one includes me most. I have a million reasons why I could deem myself unworthy and yet every day he’s there announcing from God I’m worth it. . Today he did a proposal to marry him again. What? Hands down. Yes. He’s the single most influential person in my life. I absolutely love him. I love building with him. I love that my input and opinion counts above anyone. There’s too much to say about why he still makes me get knots in my stomach, raise my heartbeat, and just stare at him in admiration. He’s the best person I know. The smartest person I know. Like for real brilliant. Consistent. Studies. Upright. Blameless. Integrity. Character. Reliable. Driven. Visionary. Generous. Let me stop. Might break the internet. . Today’s lesson: recognize when you’ve been given a gift. Love then well. . Thanks Babe - you shocked me on this one. People think it’s the ring. Nah. You’d do that anyway. If I like it you find a way. It’s your public expression when you are the most private person I know. That well that. Well see about that later! #25yrs 🥰😘 #livingmygoals #relationshipgoals #relationships #love #blacklove
Lesson 3: simple. Don’t get with anyone who is shocked at the size of your dream. They will always find a reason to clip your wings so you can build a nest instead of a flight path. . You don’t sort this out after a a couple dates and a few prayers. No. If they can’t dream for themselves how will they dream with you? If they are satisfied with where they are they will never push you to where you need to be. If they’re stuck in their past you will be frustrated dragging them into a future they don’t have the courage or confidence to desire. . Whether I had married Eben or not he had always advocated for me maximizing my call in God. “Have you written today?” “What you working on next?” “What’s your plan?” “I haven’t seen you working” and on. He’s the same today with his friends and the ppl we watch over. He’s always pushing me to the forefront without comparison or competition, ego or chauvinism. He doesn’t say it can’t be done. He says let’s get it done. . So instead of chasing a status change you better wait for the person who believes you will change your status. . #roadto25 #relationshipgoals #love #qotd . I’ve always loved a dreamer who does. Nothing can be done for or with a person who wants nothing done so therefore they do nothing. Be allergic to lazy people they make horrible partners. #instaaunty
Lesson 2: a stingy life is a stagnant life. @heavenconner tattoo has our family motto on it: live to give and give to live. . Live to Give. Our hearts motivation is to live a life of generosity. We understand we are stewards and not original owners. Though we work, a life submitted to God includes pockets surrendered as well. We are always on the lookout for opportunities to be an answer to prayers within our capacity. . Give to Live. We further understand the life we want to live is in direct relation to the capacity in which we give. There is favor for the faithful psalm 5:12. The generous soul shall be made rich prov. 11:25. A giver sets in motion the law of reciprocity Luke 6:38. Like a river that needs to flow out so it can stay enriched so are our lives. We flow not hold. . A closed hand represents a closed heart and anything closed can’t let anything in or out. We both are givers. Our family is trained to give God first and best and to bless with some of the rest. . Giving triggers increase, favor, wisdom, opportunities and prosperity so we can do more in the kingdom and for the kingdom. You know what though? Personal increase and blessing also comes. Water can’t flow through a pipe without the pipe getting wet. So yeah ppl criticize, judge and gossip. If they’re watching you remember they’re never ahead but always behind. So never let those behind stop you from moving ahead. Be generous. It begins with the heart. It’s not an amount it’s a commitment and an attitude of the heart. God is a giver. Live to Give. What’s our secret to the blessed life financially? We give God 10% first then we determine our giving. Some years we’ve given 50% away some years 25% when we first started 15%. It’s easy to give your time, wisdom, consideration, money, hospitality etc when you decide to be a giver. A lesson worth living is the one about giving . #roadto25
It’s 24 days before we celebrate 25 years of marriage like whoa! No way I’m this old 🤣 I said I’d list 25 lessons learned from @pastorebenconner or just lessons period. Ok. Year 1: . It was like the Coming to America movie until it was not. It was coming to the South. That’s a whole different movie. I had been to many states doing tours with my dad - from California to New York and had my own ideas of the great USA. I remember Eben asking me could I handle it - it. What was it? It was the racism, prejudice, judgment, rejection, disparity, jealousy, envy and flat out hate I’d get that I wasn’t aware of existed. I didn’t know my skin color, hair type, open culture, country of origin would be a thing. I didn’t know those simple characteristics I was born with would become a source of irritation, gossip and thought projections. “She thinks she’s this”.. “she’s stuck up”. . “He’s a sell out. He should have married a sister” .. “she thinks she cute”. I wasn’t ready. Not in a million years was I ready for the put downs. . I came confident in who I was and my culture of being an open armed generous person. I found I was being pushed to being withdrawn, mistrusting, cautious and my mind was just in chaos trying to keep up with all of it. But my husband was at peace. Like how??? . First lesson: Don’t put your esteem in the hands of other people. Know you’re significant and important all by yourself. . People will project their insecurities and inferiority complexes on you when they don’t have their own confidence. I am thankful that at this present point in time Ive learned the lesson. I don’t need the approval, affirmation, acceptance or appreciation of anyone. It’s cool to have it but I can’t be controlled by it. My value is based on the Word of God not the words of others. . Thanks @pastorebenconner ❤️ always making me stronger and better. #roadto25 #goals #relationships
In 1994 I had a vision of my daughter before I was ever married. I knew I’d have a girl first. I was ecstatic. I cut out a photo of what I saw in my vision by searching magazines until I found it. Swipe right to see what @heavenconner looked like before she manifested. Then prophet angel smith and prophet Nina Marie prophesied and said we would have a girl first then a boy. This was a couple years into our marriage. When her hair is out she looks pretty much like this. It’s crazy. It’s cool. My mom and I never had this huggle type relationship but I love that me and my girl hug all the time. We are gonna be all tight and all right. Thankful God went beyond that for me and gave me @pastorbridget a mom who let’s me squeeze and squeeze her all the time when I see her. He will give you mother’s and daughters after His own heart. Thankful. Who are you thankful for today??
ThanksLiving: living a daily life of thankfulness. An optimist says the glass is half full. A pessimist says the glass is half empty. A thankful person says I’m glad I have a glass. You see it’s not happy people who are thankful but thankful people who are happy. Everyday find something or someone to be thankful for. It’s incredible how thankfulness gets the attention of God and the invaluable impressions on your heart and mind it makes. Let’s begin today a ThanksLiving life. The last pic is of a lady who came to say thanks for me praying for her @MYSHARELIFE her legs grew out and she has no pain. . Today, I’m thankful for my friend @thetiffanymorriarshow a What or who are you THANKFUL for? 👇🏻👇🏻👇🏻 . . . . . . MUA: @rubybelchermua Pic: @jazzellamckeel @_chrisflowers #💜happy
You know. I just don’t know what to do about @wotfc sometimes. Here I am in deep teaching today on a Holy Sunday and the next photo shows me really what was actually happening. @_chrisflowers funny. Just funny. 🤣 #ilovemychurch get the message : ThanksLiving #brain #shoes #focus 😳🤷🏻♀️
What’s important hasn’t changed. Wanted to preach the word since I was 15. Took this at 19 in South Africa. Going to die preaching the word. Make sure my casket has bible verses all over it. Make sure this one is on there “God is great - everything works together for good for his servant.” Psalm 35:27-8 . WHAT IS ONE OF YOUR FAVE BIBLE VERSES 👇🏻👇🏻👇🏻👇🏻
Being courageous isn’t just about you - someone else needs you to stand up and speak out @heavenconner
The thing about believing is making a decision that forward is better than behind. We can wish for the triumphs of yesterday if we miss the opportunity of double blessings tomorrow holds. God is always exceeding not receding. Press forward friends. Don’t look back and say “I used to make money” no. Begin now and say “I make the money I want” and hustle to do it. Don’t say “I used to be healthy”. No. Say “I’m healthy living my best life” and do the actions required. Why? Because if you make who you were and what you did a landing place instead of a mile marker you will live where you need to leave instead of arriving at your next assigned place of blessing. Yesterday is yesterday. Today is today. Use it wisely. Matthew 6:34 So don’t worry about tomorrow, for tomorrow will bring its own worries. Today’s trouble is enough for today.
Sometimes I’m in my feelings. I know better. But don’t always do what I know to do. Blindsided. I get blindsided by news I don’t want to hear. By stories that grieve me. By results that seem less than the effort I put in. Life. Stuff. People. I have those “I wasn’t ready” moments that present me with the opportunity to swirl. I want to jump on a plane and avoid the whole thing. Or go under the covers and wake up to an entirely different timeline. Withdraw. I want to withdraw and sulk. I don’t withdraw but I get quiet. I know the power of words and refuse to agree with the opportunity so I get quiet and deal. You know what I mean? Deal. You have a way and I have a way we deal. . If I’m really smart I’ll catch what’s happening quicker than not and resist. If I’m a little slow that day I regret later the time wasted on letting my feelings rob me of precious minutes I could have spent with the people who matter doing the things I should be doing. . So how to deal based on God’s Word:. . Trust God. Lol. Don’t you hate when ppl say that and don’t tell you how to actually do it??!! 🤦🏻♀️. Trust God. Means total reliance knowing His capability. We totally trust sitting on a couch wherever we see one. Not because we know the capability of the couch but because we trust the expertise, accuracy, design, foresight and ability of the creator of the couch. We sit with no reservations. Trusting God is like that. It’s without reservation taking Him at His word, believing Him, accepting His wisdom, obeying His instructions and being at peace with His timing. It’s not worrying or inspecting His work. Trusting God is believing Him. . So in dealing. Find a promise in Gods word on your situation and believe it. Seek wisdom. Pray over it and believe when you pray, God hears and sets in motion the people needed and the circumstances that are beneficial to a favorable outcome. Then choose peace over perplexity. Go about your day and don’t let the devil see or hear you sweat. . I can do this in seconds at times and sometimes it takes me hours. I realize when it takes longer it’s because I haven’t predetermined to trust God in advance of whatever situation. It’s WINsday. Stand. 💜
Lay hands on the sick and they shall recover. All things are possible to them that believe. Since 1992 I’ve been laying hands on people for their legs to grow. Most times they do and some times they don’t. Here’s the thing about miracles: . 1. You and I are responsible for believing and agreeing. 2. God is responsible for the healing. 3. According to your faith so shall it be. Remember the person’s faith also has a role to play. You may want them to live and they may be believing to go home to Jesus. 4. Some miracles are instant some are over a period of time. For example. Jesus prayed for the blind man twice. 5. Don’t allow personal ego to impact the moment. It’s not about us. It’s about believing with people and God being glorified. God is sovereign. . Next thing. Everyone can pray for the sick. Mark 16:17-18; These signs follow believers not just special believers. I want to bring this to your attention because God wants all of us to be available at anytime to do what He wills. . Here’s what happened by photo 3 as you slide to the right. @napolianbarnes is always creating an atmosphere for miracles which is a part of @mysharelife and as we were flowing in what God wanted to do we felt a shift. I jumped yes jumped off the stage and prayed for the first person. After returning on the platform two other women came for prayer. Right then the Holy Spirit told me to ask @sharjas4 @dennismiller314 to pray for them. . They hadn’t done that before. But now was the moment. They believed. They submitted. They prayed. I declared from the stage they declared from the floor. Both women got healed immediately. . It’s chooseday. I believe God wants you to choose to be available when He wills. I have realized in my own life compassion for others often times trigger miracles in my own life. When Job prayed for his friends, his help came. God wants to manifest His glory through you. You don’t have to have a degree. Nor be a pastor or an apostle. You need to be a born again believer in the Lord Jesus Christ. Now choose to make Him known today. Xo
On the real. I’ve never seen myself as a pastor. I’ve always seen my husband as one and myself as a missionary. A messenger that will go. Maybe because I felt the pressure of that gift seemed to have no room for grace when failures occurred. Knowing myself and the struggles I have in my own mind and heart it just seemed really above my capabilities. I never grew up in church. I’m always messing up some protocol or church standard. I stay on the floor of correction. I am an evangelical gift that gets to pastor. . It’s cool. This pastoring life. I get to meet the most amazing people. I get to join them in the journey of overcoming. They know and I know we’re both being changed into the image of Christ. It’s a consistent work of surrender. Now I get it. Being a pastor isn’t asking a person to be flawless but faithful. Faithful to the call of caring for the people God entrusts to you to care about. That. I can do that. Care. I can care about and for people. . I don’t have an answer on the date of the rapture. I have no idea when the red horse will make his way here or why God went silent for 400 years. I can tell you what I know. @wotfc is my fave church. We are built for each other. Tons of imperfect people come and our lives intersect with perfect precision. God is so good to me. I never thought I’d wear the word pastor but it seems to fit just fine. Thank you God for trusting me with more than I ever thought. It is our privilege to obey and serve. May we make you proud. I love our congregation. I love our volunteers. I love Sundays.
@spiritchurchstl we had the best of times - lol on the video clip. 🤦🏻♀️🤦🏻♀️🤷🏻♀️🤷🏻♀️ see you next time and get in a group. We thrive in connection not isolation. @tracyswilliams love y’all and thanks for letting me testify about the impact a small group leader makes. I’m all about building the local church. My youth leader and my small group leader are predominantly responsible for where I am in my spiritual life. Hands down. I believe in small groups. Xo .
The heart drives it all. You will be misunderstood, taken advantage of, left, lied on, talked about, criticized, judged, suspected, condemned, read into, excluded and as @bishopjakes said in an interview “it costs you everything”... you get baffled, isolated, rejected, pulled on, lonely ... you fight distress and depression, anxiety and fear. You cry tears people never see, you look for help and wonder who can you call that won’t judge you. Sometimes not all the time but sometimes you ask is it worth it? Really. Sacrificing for others who seem to never be satisfied. You can’t say hello enough. Give enough. Be there enough. Respond enough. Yet. yet your heart ... . It just won’t let go of love. Love for God. Love for His people. Love for His plan. Your heart just keeps fighting for hope. Pushing for purpose. Charging for change. It just refuses to lose to darkness. It beats for the joy seen when people win. It presses on believing the best. It is stirred by the testimonies that are yet to be told. The heart that spends time in the presence of God pours out its pain and pours in passion and purpose. The heart simply loves. . So even though your mind may get confused because one minute the people love you and the next they throw you to the Pharisees - we have to remember WHY we do what we do and WHO called us to do it. . We all are learning, growing and changing. Give others the benefit of the doubt, the room to grow, the opportunity to change. Extend the same grace you’d want in your time of development. At the end of the day, if you’re going to be a leader, you and I must be spirit fed not emotion led. We chose to obey God. We chose to find our greatest joy in serving Him. Stay soft before God and your heart won’t grow hard. Dont be shaken we are all growing. Xo